Build your Premarital Muscles!

If you are considering marriage, please think about building your premarital muscles!  You wouldn’t run a marathon without training, so don’t get married without similar a practice regimen of thought and preparation.

You might think your relationship is in great shape, but if you are planning a marriage than it will be helpful to create some intentional time to improve your listening skills, address one another’s values, and discuss your shared vision for the future. If you’re engaged and and sometimes feel uncertain, then that may be an indication that a neutral third party, like a couples counselor, could be useful in helping you with any challenges. Premarital counseling can be quick and rewarding!

Marriage is one of the greatest commitments that people make. Society popularizes the goal of finding the perfect person.  Everyone likes to imagine a perfect relationship that lasts into eternity.

Marriage takes work

A great marriage requires dedicated work. You need practice to create the proper patterns of communication and interaction. Premarital counseling can serve as training to strengthen your relationship and overcome any challenges while developing compassion for your partner.

At Self Care Impact Counseling, I offer a comprehensive, evidence supported program designed specifically for Premarital Counseling called the Gottman Method. Below are some of the skills we work on in my couples counseling practice:

Practice Effective Communication:

  • Simply listen and don’t immediately give advice or attempting to fix the problem.
  • Demonstrate empathy for your partner. For example saying, “That sounds really difficult. I’m sorry that happened”.
  • Listen to your partner like they were a friendly coworker.  We often put more energy into communicating with our coworkers than our partners. Give them your full attention. Turn off devices and make good eye contact.  Give some verbal cues to indicate understanding
  • Communicate how you are feeling to your partner. I’m often surprised by people who say “I feel” and then skip the feeling and share a thought instead. It often takes some coaching to get people to share their heart – but if they learn to express their feelings, it can create a deeper understanding. Sharing feelings properly is the foundation for deeper emotional connection.

Discussing problems and issues

Processing disagreements is stressful on its own. If you have feel competent in the skills of communicating through conflict, the stress dissipates. Once the stress is gone, you can think logically and effectively process challenges together.

The goal of premarital counseling is to prepare couples for a lifetime of partnership. Gottman’s research and his 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work provide a model for creating the foundation for that lifetime partnership.

It’s beautiful to watch a relationship journey that ends in a successful marriage. Premarital counseling can ground your partnership.  You’ll have new relationship tools, and a better understanding of one another with a heightened sense of compassion for your partner.  

Getting Started With Premarital Counseling in Lakewood & Longmont Colorado

We invite you to call us at 720-551-4553 for a free 20-minute phone consultation. You can schedule your appointment via phone, email, or the contact page on our website. We offer both in-person and online counseling. We’re open to whichever option you feel more comfortable with.  We look forward to hearing from you!