Dealing With Depression After a Breakup

The end of a relationship can bring about a wide range of emotions, from sadness and anger to confusion and numbness. For many, a breakup can also lead to depression—a state of persistent sadness and a lack of interest in previously enjoyable activities. If you or someone you know is struggling with depression after a breakup, it’s crucial to recognize the signs and take active steps toward healing.

Recognizing the Impact

Breakups are a significant life event and can bring about a unique form of grief. This grief may not just be for the partner lost, but also for the future you envisioned together. Depression can be one of the outcomes of this grieving process.

Symptoms of depression after a breakup might include:

  • Persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or emptiness.
  • Loss of interest in hobbies or activities.
  • Difficulty sleeping or oversleeping.
  • Changes in appetite or weight.
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt.
  • Difficulty concentrating or making decisions.
  • Thoughts of death or suicide.

Ways to Navigate Depression After a Breakup

1. Allow Yourself to Grieve

It’s okay to feel the pain and grief that come with a breakup. Grief is a natural response to loss. When a relationship ends, you’re not just losing the person; you’re losing the dreams, plans, and shared experiences with them. Grieving helps you process this loss.

The grieving process often involves reflecting on the relationship—what went well, what went wrong, what you learned, and how you’ve grown. This reflection can be vital for personal growth and ensuring healthier future relationships.  Everyone grieves differently. There’s no “right” or “wrong” way to grieve, and there’s no set timeline for how long it should take. Listening to and respecting your feelings, seeking support when needed, and giving yourself the time and space to heal are paramount during this challenging time.

2. Seek Professional Help

Dealing with the aftermath of a breakup can be incredibly challenging, and while it’s natural to feel sadness, grief, and other strong emotions, there comes a point where seeking professional help is advisable, especially when depressive symptoms intensify or persist.  For example, It’s normal to feel sad after a breakup, but if the sadness feels overwhelming and constant for two weeks or more, it may be indicative of clinical depression.  

If your problem isn’t serious but you feel that talking to someone could benefit your mental and emotional well-being, then it’s a good idea to seek professional support. Therapy or counseling can offer valuable perspectives, coping techniques, and strategies to help you navigate the complexities of emotions following a breakup. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

3. Establish a Routine

In essence, a routine can serve as an anchor, grounding individuals as they navigate the turbulent waters of a breakup. While it might be tempting to let go of structure during such a trying time, maintaining or creating a routine can be one of the most effective and proactive strategies to support mental and emotional well-being.  Here’s how establishing and maintaining a routine can help:

  • Provides Structure: After a breakup, the sense of predictability and stability in life may feel shaken. A routine can offer a reassuring structure, creating a sense of normality and order amidst emotional chaos.
  • Stops You From Ruminating: Engaging in regular activities can prevent you from becoming preoccupied with the breakup. It keeps your mind and body active, diverting attention from distressing thoughts.
  • Reinforces Self-worth: Following a routine and accomplishing even small tasks can boost feelings of self-efficacy and purpose. This can counteract feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness that may arise after a breakup.
  • Ensures Basic Needs Are Met: Depression can sometimes make it challenging to attend to basic self-care needs. A routine ensures that you’re eating, sleeping, and maintaining personal hygiene, which are foundational to mental and physical health.
  • Promotes Healthy Habits: Incorporating exercise, a balanced diet, and relaxation techniques into your daily routine can have direct positive effects on your mood and well-being.
  • Reduces Anxiety: Knowing what’s ahead can diminish feelings of anxiety and uncertainty. By having a set plan or structure, you can reduce the number of decisions you have to make daily, which can be overwhelming when you’re already emotionally taxed.
  • Re-establishes Your Independence: Especially after a long-term relationship, individuals might feel lost without their partner. A personal routine can help re-establish independence and self-sufficiency.

4. Avoid Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

While it might be tempting to dive into a pint of ice cream, binge-watch shows, or use alcohol or drugs, these are temporary fixes that won’t address the root cause of your feelings and may lead to more issues down the line.  While unhealthy coping mechanisms might provide a fleeting escape, they don’t address the root of the emotional pain. Over time, reliance on these methods can compound the initial distress and lead to additional problems.

In the wake of a breakup, it’s essential to seek out healthy, constructive ways to cope and heal. This might include talking to friends or a therapist, engaging in physical activity, taking up new hobbies, or practicing mindfulness and meditation. By doing so, one can navigate the challenging emotions post-breakup while laying the foundation for future well-being and resilience.

5. Lean on Your Support System

Talk to friends or family members you trust. Sharing your feelings can be therapeutic and offer perspectives you hadn’t considered.

6. Limit Social Media Exposure

While it’s natural to want to know what your ex is up to, incessantly checking their social media can hinder your healing process. Consider a digital detox or limit your time on platforms where you might encounter painful reminders.

8. Accept That Healing Isn’t Linear

There will be good days and bad days. That’s normal. Celebrate your progress, and don’t be too hard on yourself during tougher times. For many people, the recovery process is more akin to a roller coaster of emotions than a straight path forward. Here’s why:

  • Resurfacing Memories: Specific dates, places, songs, or events might trigger memories of the relationship, leading to an unexpected resurgence of emotions.
  • External Factors: Life doesn’t pause for a breakup. Other stressors, such as challenges at work, family issues, or health concerns, can intensify or bring back the pain of the breakup.
  • Stages of Grief: Breakups often involve experiencing various stages of grief, not necessarily in a predictable order. One might oscillate between denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
  • New Information: Learning new details about the ex-partner, especially related to them moving on or dating someone new, can rekindle emotions or introduce new feelings into the healing process.
  • Emotional Processing: Emotions aren’t always logical. One might have days where they feel entirely okay, followed by days where the weight of the breakup feels just as fresh as when it first occurred.
  • Seeking Closure: If there were unresolved issues or unanswered questions at the time of the breakup, these might periodically resurface, hindering the linear progression of healing.

Moving Forward

A breakup can feel like the end of the world, but with time, most people find their way back to happiness and stability. While it’s okay to grieve and feel the depth of your emotions, remember that depression is a serious condition. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or think you might be depressed, seek professional help immediately. With the right support and self-awareness, healing is not just possible—it’s probable.

If you are having relationship problems you probably have questions. This is normal and we would be happy to help you find the answers you seek.  Take a look at our 
Depression Treatment Page for more information. Then we invite you to call us at 720-551-4553 for a free 20-minute phone consultation with a marriage specialist. You can schedule your appointment via phone, or the contact page on our website.  We look forward to hearing from you.

 Self Care Impact Counseling envisions a new age of counseling for adolescents, adults, couples & groups that makes a REAL difference with core values of GROWTH | BALANCE | COMPASSION | INNER HARMONY.