7 Signs Your Marriage Counselor is a Good Match for You

Is your Marriage Counselor a good match for you? Here are seven signs to look for.

You’ve done a lot of research on how to find a good marriage counselor and now you are ready to meet them!  Meeting your first couples therapist can be a nerve-wracking experience. You may be nervous at first, and you may not know what to expect. When you meet your first couples therapist, it can be an intimidating experience. Even if you think you’re doing everything right in your relationship, seeing a couples therapist might be intimidating – they’re like an expert on relationships who knows more than we do! It’s critical to find the right couples therapist. The success of couples therapy relies on developing a safe environment and establishing trust. If you don’t feel comfortable during your first meeting, it may not be the right fit for you as a couple.

You may feel overwhelmed when you meet your first couples counselor. You may be apprehensive about whether you’ll be welcomed as a couple or whether you’ll be judged or treated fairly. You will probably be unnerved from the beginning if you see a couples counselor for the first time, particularly if you think you are doing everything right in your relationship. Finding the right couples counselor is critical. Couples therapy requires an atmosphere of trust and safety. If you do not feel comfortable after your initial meeting, this may not be the right clinic for you as a couple.

Consider this client example:  After years of communication breakdowns and growing apart, Sarah and George were on the brink of separation. They decided to give their relationship one last chance by seeking a couples counselor. From their first session, it was evident that their counselor was a perfect match for them. Here’s how:

1. Their couples counselor had the same goals

The counselor facilitated a crucial conversation where Sarah and George expressed their desires to rebuild trust and enhance their emotional connection. Despite initial differing views, with the counselor’s guidance, they aligned on common goals for their therapy.

It’s improbable that couples therapy will be successful if you and your partner don’t agree on the goals. A good couples counselor will help you and your partner discuss your expectations for the therapy. You and your partner should concur on the same objectives for couples therapy, such as learning communication skills or improving intimacy in your connection.

Some couples may come in with conflicting wishes, such as one person wanting to discuss an infidelity while the other wants to move beyond a breach of trust. Having different objectives can make sessions difficult to navigate and frustrating.

Couples counseling will enable you to discuss your objectives and come to an agreement. Even if you concur on everything, a decent relationship counselor will assist you in developing a method to accomplish those objectives. They will assist you in developing a strategy to accomplish those objectives.

2. They made them feel supported and safe

During sessions, the counselor created a safe space for both partners. When discussions became intense, they had a pre-agreed signal to pause and regroup, ensuring conversations remained constructive.

When you and your partner attend couples therapy, a decent couples therapist will ensure that you and your partner feel safe and supported. A safe word or sign to indicate whether the session has become too intense should be developed. A decent therapist will also be able to assist you and your spouse express your emotions and interact in a safe environment.

Your couples counselor might also help you and your partner work through issues that trigger one or both of you. For example, if being triggered by something your partner says is making you shut down, your counselor might be able to help you and your partner discuss those issues and establish trust again. In contrast, a couple that splits up usually declines to grow.

3. The counselor understood their challenges.

Their counselor, with a deep understanding of relationship dynamics, helped them identify the root causes of their issues. Through empathy and strategic questioning, Sarah and George began to see each other’s perspectives more clearly.

An excellent relationship counselor can walk the fine line between being empathetic to your issues and not being overly emotional themselves. They can assist you and your spouse in identifying problem areas and coming up with innovative solutions.

Couple’s counsellors are able to help you look at the big picture while focusing on you and your partner at the same time. Couple’s counsellors may be able to help you discuss the long-term consequences of your issues, such as how they might affect your child or your career.

4. The therapist believed that their relationship could be repaired

Their counselor’s unwavering belief in the possibility of repair inspired hope. By focusing on future potential rather than past hurts, Sarah and George started to envision a positive future together.

Couples counselors who believe in the ability to repair almost any relationship and help couples achieve a better future are the ones you should seek out. They think that your relationship has fantastic potential and that you can assist one another in fulfilling it. If your counselor doesn’t believe in repairing broken connections, they may be overly focused on the past and getting you to discuss past relationship issues.

Couple therapy isn’t only about helping you discuss your previous relationship problems; it is also about helping you and your partner establish a better future. Great relationship therapists will look ahead and assist you in establishing a better future. They will assist you in moving past your relationship problems and establishing a more significant connection.

5. The therapist listened without judging.

The counselor’s ability to listen without judgment encouraged open and honest communication. This non-judgmental stance helped Sarah and George feel understood and validated.

A great relationship counselor will listen to you and not judge you or your partnership. They will believe in your ability to make smart decisions, as well as assist you and your spouse in finding solutions to the problems you are facing. They may also indicate the actions you must take to improve your connection.

A good couples counselor will be able to help you and your partner distinguish between your problems and your identities. If your counselor is quick to judge you or your relationship, it may not be the best option for you.

6. Their Counselor had a Treatment Plan

With a tailored treatment plan, the counselor guided them through targeted exercises designed to address their specific issues, helping them practice and improve their communication and problem-solving skills.

An excellent marriage counselor will assist you and your spouse in overcoming your issues. When you seek out professional help, be sure to ask about their experience and expertise.

Your counselor should not force their agenda on you; rather, you and your counselor should focus on addressing your current struggles.

7. The therapist provided them with tools.

Practical tools and strategies were introduced to help manage conflicts and enhance intimacy. These tools proved invaluable both in and out of sessions, giving Sarah and George new ways to connect and understand each other.

Couples therapy can help you and your partner by providing tools to improve your relationship. Starting with communication tools is an excellent idea. In addition to using them in session and at home, they should be relevant to the issues you are dealing with in your relationship.

So what happened?

By the end of their therapy journey, Sarah and Alex had not only addressed their immediate concerns but had also laid a strong foundation for a healthy, resilient relationship. Their story exemplifies the transformative power of working with the right couples counselor.”

A good couples counselor can help you and your partner resolve issues in your relationship. You and your partner’s relationship counselor might help you identify the problems you face and determine how to improve your relationship. Your couples counselor is a critical component of your couples therapy experience. Finding the proper couples counselor for you and your partner is crucial to the success of your therapy. Do you feel at ease and comfortable during your initial visit with your couples counselor? Do you feel comfortable discussing your issues without feeling judged? A good counselor will assist you to feel comfortable, communicate effectively, and discover a strategy to heal your relationship.

Marriage Counseling in the Denver Area

If you are having marriage problems you probably have questions. This is normal and we would be happy to help you find the answers you seek.  Take a look at our Marriage Counseling Specialty Page for more information. Then we invite you to call us at 720-551-4553 for a free 20-minute phone consultation with a marriage specialist. You can schedule your appointment via phone, or the contact page on our website.  We look forward to hearing from you.

Self Care Impact Counseling envisions a new age of counseling for adolescents, adults, couples & groups that makes a REAL difference with core values of GROWTH | BALANCE | COMPASSION | INNER HARMONY.